To say I hate violence is probably a lie. I, too, enjoy a good action movie, and pretty much every game I own -and they are legion- includes violence at one point or another, the exception perhaps being Solitaire.
No, violence in and of itself isn’t a bad thing. Violence creates rivalries; rivalries create a goal; goals create motivation; motivation drives a character and characters are the core and heart of every work of fiction. Plus, it makes for some really good action moments.

Keyword here, however, being ‘fiction’, also known as ‘not real’. This is abouts where I draw the line in as far as violence goes. What I do hate is people physically and psychologically hurting or ending the lives of other people.
Wars are pretty much a necessity in most any RTS game, but the real world really can do without them (no, really). In fact, after 5000+ years of civilized carnage you’d think that we’d’ve grown out of the nasty habit, but nooooh.
Not to mention rape, abuse, extortion, bad poetry, Tokio Hotel or plain old beating the shit out of your friend/neighbour/wife/random person with a different melanin count… Civilization? My fat arse.
(I’d like to point out here, though, that my arse isn’t all that bloated. It is, in fact, much like the rest of my body: skinny enough to fit in the opening of a mailbox. I hate winters.)

Humans are about as civilized as, er, uncivilized humans (sucks being the only known sentient species when you need a simile, I know) We may have super-advanced computers that can do a gazillion calculations in a split nanosecond
-and when I say ‘we’, I of course mean NASA-
when it comes to social interactions, we might as well dress in animal furs and live in caves, growing grotesque beards.
Do you want to see Angelina Jolie with a grotesque caveman/tramp/pedophile beard? That’s right! Didn’t think so!
So, to prevent that atrocity from ever happening, we should stop acting like ultra-territorial chimpanzee-gorillas pumped up on testosterone and GROW THE FUCK UP!
‘We’ here having the meaning of the entire human race.

I mean, there’s probably a reason alien life hasn’t made contact with us yet. They probably don’t feel so comfortable letting us near their shiny motherships out of fear we’d press the big, red “SELFDESTRUCT” button and blow the things up because we ‘like the pretty lights’ and because we want to give inter-celestial warfare a go, ’cause it ‘sounds fun’.

That’s how wars have started in the past. Kaiser Wilhelm of Germany had invested heavily in his military, which more or less means it was Christmas Eve and he just got a bunch of new toys, but he can’t play with them yet because he was expected to sit at the Christmas dinner with his mommy and his daddy and all his uncles and aunties and his grandparentses, just to paint a picture here.
So he pushed his pal, Franz-Josef of Austria-Hungary into starting a wee border dispute now known as ‘World War I’.
That’s right. One. That means humanity’s been moronic enough to repeat the whole damn thing twenty years later.
Fucking Nazis.
Fucking revanchists.

Now, I’m not a patriot at all. Belgium sucks penis in so many ways it’s obscene. However! It does show us it is possible for a nation to exist without attacking another nation and engaging in a major war.
For the record, yes, I am personally acquainted with numerous Belgians who claim to be happy in spite of having to live with the idea that our ace fighter pilots (HAH!) are not setting other countries on fire from the air.

Anyway, WWI and WWII were the only major conflicts Belgium as a sovereign nation was in involved. And each time they were in the role of a buffer state between Germany and France (read: everyone’s bitch).
And this, by the way, solely because the Belgians like the French more than the Germans, probably because the French have the superior croissants and wines.
One could argue that the Germans have the better beer, but one’s point would be moot as we already have the best fucking beer in the world.
I think.
Going by proxy-info here, as I don’t drink beer. Not anymore at least, as I found out that if I wanted to drink something that tastes like piss, I might as well piss in a glass and drink that.
I did the math, turns out it’d be cheaper that way, plus I wouldn’t have to leave the house to buy more piss.
Actually, I didn’t do the math, I just sat down for five (5!) seconds thinking what to say next, and I came to that simple conclusion.
Now, either my brain is huge, or I missed something obvious, but noone seems to have come to the same conclusion I have.
One could cite the effects of the alcohol as a reason to drink, but I’d have to ask them the timeless and deep-philosophical question: ‘why?’
As soon as I feel the pressing, uncontrolable urge to make a complete and utter fool of myself, by dancing on a table in a bar, and puking in women’s bosoms, alcohol will be the first thing I’ll try, but don’t hold your breath.

Which brings us back to violence.

What? Too fast? Fine then. Alcohol, stupid drunken acts, drunken violence, violence. There.

As for fictional versus real violence, the next ‘worrying mom’ I hear who goes ‘Violence in movies and video games makes our children violent’ gets clobbered. (see what I did there?) No! Fuck you! If your kid is fucked up enough to shoot someone’s brains out, it’s because your kid’s fucked up enough! Games and movies have nothing to do with it! Stop trying to make up excuses for being a crap parrent!
If you listen to your kid every now and then, and I don’t mean sitting in the same room nodding every now and then, but actually LISTENING, you might learn that there’s stuff BOTHERING your kid.
If he’s between the age of 8 and 27, this is NATURAL! His body is going through various CHANGES!  There’s feelings and emotions your kid can’t deal with himself and he fucking NEEDS YOU!
Now, if your kid is fucked up in the head, these feelings and emotions, when left unaddressed by a caring hand, might cause him to shoot people’s brains out. The only role video games would have played in this would be giving him an average idea of which gun best to use, but even if he didn’t have games, he’d probably go on wikipedia for that.

That’s right, wikipedia kills.

Seriously, now get off us gamers’ backs and stop calling our hobby ‘the work of satan!’.
Violence has been part of human pass-times since before the fucking Romans, and now that we have finally found a way to have violence without actually hurting someone, you want to abolish it? What, are you fucking stupid?
What frightens me most is that these people are often the same people who think the war in Iraq is ‘a good thing’.

Stupidity, like the urge to hurt others, seems to be something that will never truly leave us and will claim billions of lives in the future. Like cancer. Or religions.


It’s 20:43. I’m off to play some violent video games. Cheers.


6 thoughts on “07/10/09

  1. Mycroft says:

    Well, you have point, though violence, in my very dishonest and biased opinion, is not just caused by bad parenting (violence started by kids, of course), but by education as well. During their most impressionable years, children spend 6-8 hrs a day at school. So I think it has something to do with that, either.

    Oh, and you’re wrong about beer. You see, if you drink shitty beer, and conclude that, therefor, all beer is shit, then, congratulations, you are a dolphin. See? Because dolphins are mammals, and if I wanted to see mammals I just have to look outside my window, so I don’t have the need to go to the aquapark anymore.

  2. Selina says:

    Not liking beer doesn’t necessary mean that the beer you drank was bad beer.

    I don’t drink beer, because I don’t like the taste of it, doesn’t mean that my brother is lying when he says that the five different types of beer that I have tasted are some of the finest beers there are.

    And Ty you are absolutely right.

  3. Chuck Anumia says:

    Some (not all) of your conclusions about violence seem logical. Your rant about WWI could even be an acurate description of how the world worked 90 years ago. IJDK.

    I learned about violence by watching Westerns on TV in the early 60’s. Gene Autry and the Lone Ranger, Tanto (Which is the Spanish word for “Fool”) and Roy Rogers and Dale Evens all shot the bad guys.
    Don’t want to get shot? Don’t antagonize the bad guy who has a gun or become a bad guy yourself.
    The Israelis, Palistiniens and Al Queda could all learn lessons in diplomacy by watching those shows.

    If you want respect and peace, treat others with respect in peace. Shoot your gun and you may also get shot yourself.

  4. tyranna says:

    Mycroft: I make a point of trying every beer I come across at least once. Pretty much all of them taste like piss, and when they don’t, they taste like puke.

    There’s maybe one of two beers who’s taste I can like, but coke or even orange juice taste better and are cheaper.
    So, unless you check if each and every mammal you run across is a dolphin, your point is moot.
    You’re right about schools, though.

    Chuck: those countries don’t see themselves as the bad guy.
    I would’ve thought a smart man like yourself would’ve learned by now that black and white don’t exist in this world.

  5. Alcedo says:

    First of all, you’re scary when you QQ. Violence on high?

    Second, the rant about Franz-Joseph the Monarchist hurt me a bit, cause yes I am from Hungary, which has aligned with Austria a shitload of times and yes we have started world war 1… SORTA!

    >>> So he pushed his pal, Franz-Josef of Austria-Hungary into starting a wee border dispute now known as ‘World War I’. <<<

    But that's just it, see the reason for outbreak was different in the history books… and the local news… and in general perspective… and in most minds' opinions. If I were my own sinister Hungarian self (which am not so much) I'd just say "yeh ur right it wasnt us" but Franz-Joseph really didn't know what he was doing, and couldn't be bothered to consult about the wee border dispute you're talking about. If you live in a country whose glorious past got ruined by a MONARCHY ALLIANCE then you know the truth behind every historical event that transpired, esp. 1956..
    Oh and FFS NEVER say Austria-Hungary, we say "The Austrian-Hungarian Monarchy (Osztrák-Magyar Monarchia)" which changes the sound and feling of it ALOT! Even if you don't notice. Most historians refer to it that way. Fuck that! In our minds we were always independent, but got heavily mislead. You just don't know the calamity we endured for over 500 years (or so) during the alliance. So ya GG Austria.

    Just writing this makes me violent… lawl…

    Anyway good post. Sublime thoughts: I hate beer, makes me sick, sticking to the wine I always cherished. :3 Also, children around here get violent by enduring/chafing under other cultured children's behavior. So we could say social conflicts in general stir violence, too.


  6. Sil says:

    *drops by while not having internet, I’m so good, I’m at a cafe*

    I just want to say that the day censorship and whatever moves to your blog, I’ll cry.

    Cause it’s really quite amusing (In a good way).

    Tata~ back to the world of being busy. ❤

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