30/03/10

Yeah, I know, it’s been a while. I know. I KNOW!
Shut up.

Things worth mentioning:
-My unofficial RL name is now Helena. I know it says different on my ID, but I really prefer Helena. Calling me Helena will net you a lot of browny points. Browny points can be exchanged for chocolate, cookies or hugs on the way out.
If you’re not comfortable with Helena, Ty will still do.
-My girlfriend -at least, I think she’s still my girlfriend. Stuff is THAT clear to me right now- doesn’t want to see me for a while because she still likes me too much. (Yes, I have/had a girlfriend since the last post. Didn’t I tell you? Tough luck) Granted, I’ve been a tad too honest, and I knew she was… never mind.
-I hate Twilight. Not because it’s a crap story (it’s a crap story), or because it ruins the idea of vampires (it really does ruin the idea of vampires. AND werewolves. I mean, where’s the GORE!? Sheesh), but because it ruins the very word ‘twilight’. For one like me, who prefers the night over the day (for practical reasons as well as symbolic) twilight used to symbolized a sort of… not hope… a sort of expectancy -that’s the one- of a period in the day (night) where I can be at ease again. A bit the same way dawn symbolizes hope for ‘normal’ people.
However, now I can’t use the word ‘twilight’ in, say, poetry without people thinking that I, too, have gone gaga over Edward Cullen. Really, the only things I want from Cullen are his vertebrae, strung together into a necklace. That is, of course, assuming he does have a spine, which I rather doubt.
Oh, and could they really cast noone better than Robert fuckin’ Pattinson? I mean, I can’t see the face without wanting to punch it. Hard. With a trio of adamantinum claws. Why? Because Wolverine will by 27 times the man Edward Cullen will ever be. And because it would make his face bearable to look at. I mean… the eyes! The lips! They’re horrible! It’s like all four of them (two eyes and two lips) want to jump at me and suck the very misanthropy from my body, leaving me behind a cheery, doe-eyed, sympathetic husk of my former self.
Of course, madam whatserface is allowed to write whatever the damn hell she wants, I just wish I didn’t have to be confronted by it every time I enter a bookstore, look at a poster at a bus stop or, you know, go to a random site on the internet.
Oh, and even though Underworld might be a special effects action movie with only a mediocre plot, it will still be infinitely better than whatever will come out of the Twilight series? Why? Because Underworld seems to understand one basic thing about vampires Twilight painfully missed: Vampires aren’t Emo. They’re goth.

Now, after the Edward Cullen pictures I had to look at as research for this piece I have to look at pictures of babies being flayed alive and listen for death metal for the next 30 or so minutes to cleanse my brain.

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2 thoughts on “30/03/10

  1. Mycroft says:

    Took you long enough đŸ˜‰

  2. Zillah says:

    This post made me smile, at some point I even laugh out loud.
    But if you want to make a comparison between twilight and Underworld, you really have to mention Selene. That’s enough argument to swipe the Cullens of their feet.

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